Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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