I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
