o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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