So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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