Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
