I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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