He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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