She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize