My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
