At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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