Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
