this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
