my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
