we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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