I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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