Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
