i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
that is very illegal...i love you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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