she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
