all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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