Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
