I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
