There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i out mim tonsoeep
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