it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
