well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
