So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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