Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
