My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize