we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He? As in you personified your dick?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
