Already got asked if we're dating
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize