sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
