In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
