I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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