Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
