Whod you bang
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
