Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
