is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
