this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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