you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
