So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
