I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
