Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
