What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
