what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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