i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
