Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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