Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
