Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize