I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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