i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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