He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
