Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry badinfluenceftw hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(248): View more from Michigan

did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.

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(434): View more from Virginia

This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

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(206): View more from Washington

I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.

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(443): View more from Maryland

So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME

Fav 0 10 24
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(719): View more from Colorado

It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.

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