I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
