I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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