Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
