Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Damn victory sex feels great
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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