plz talk dirty to me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
