Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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