Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
