just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
