i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
