dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
