Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
