I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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