it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
