I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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