I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
