okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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