He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
