They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
