Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And then he peed in my hair
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